Monday, November 26, 2007

Arranged Marriage II

Maheswary's 'arranged marriage' plan got me thinking.

I think of my time in Sri Lanka a bit like (how I perceive) an arranged marriage. When the idea was 1st mooted, I had no interest whatsoever, didn't want to even consider it. I buried my head in the sand, pretended it wasn't happening. As time went on, however, and I realised this was a serious proposal, I thought, well maybe I should look at some photos, get an idea of what I am letting myself in for. My interest was caught a little, I even began a mild flirtation, but mostly it just seemd incredibly scary, too unknown, too crazy an idea.

How could I give up all I knew and loved to launch into the unknown? Would we be compatible, would I even like Sri Lanka, would there be any degree of mutuality? After all looks aren't everything, and much of Sri Lanka's beauty is only skin deep.

So once I had entered in to this 'arranged marriage' I discovered all of Sri Lanka's foibles, idiosyncracies, suppressed anger, ugliness. We have fought many battles, I have cried many tears, not just of frustration, there is much that I dislike, but also things that are endearing, and now make me smile and I think fondly 'Oh Sri Lanka'. I have settled into the familiar rhythms and routines.

It is true to say I have been changed by this partnership, but I still want to change so much in return. Too big a task for me. And perhaps that's not such a healthy attitude either.....

But am I in love? No, I cannot say I have fallen in love. However, I would say I have reached a state of contentment with my lot. And there's a lot to be said for contentment in a marriage.

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